Cheltenham Paul has written to the tune of The Wild Rover.
I've been a blind punter for many a year,
And I've spent all me money on sh*te tips and beer.
But now I'm returning with Noel’s sound advice,
And I’ll have plenty winners, each one at a price.
And it's no, nay, never!
No nay never no more.
Will I play the blind punter?
No never no more.
I went to a bookie I used to frequent,
And I told the sly b*stard my money was spent.
He laughed when I uttered my nap of the day,
When I said it was Noel’s, the fat c*nt ran away.
And it's no, nay, never!
No nay never no more.
Will I play the blind punter?
No never no more.
And from my pocket I took wads of cash,
And I poured LPR with a splish and a splash.
The lads in the Miller said “How’ve you done that?”,
I said “Noel’s the best tipster since Mickey The Hat.”
And it's no, nay, never!
No nay never no more.
Will I play the blind punter?
No never no more.
I'll go over to Cheltenham with confidence high,
And with this man’s help make the bookmakers cry.
And if you all listen, whatever the place,
Then he’ll keep tipping winners from Southwell to Naas!
And it's no, nay, never!
No nay never no more.
Will I play the blind punter?
No never no more.
© Cheltenham Paul/Chestival Sept 2009
I thought we could do with our own version that reflects the anticipation and pant-wetting excitement of that magical week in March.
So without further ado, fellow Chestivalians I give you the live and uncut version of...
It's Chestival Time Now
(click the title, sit back and pour yourself a glass of pink champagne!)
It's Chestival Time Now
(to the tune of 5 O’Clock Somewhere, by Alan Jackson, feat. Jimmy Buffet – check your Chestival CD, track 6)
But that’ll change.
The summer sun’s about as fun as Razorlight,
Or getting mange.
I get real gloomy in July, more cheery by September.
That tinglin’ sensation starts to grow by December.
And on New Year’s Day,
I always start singing this song.
Make it a pink champagne before I go insane.
I want to get my kicks and I know how.
It's Chestival time now.
At Prestbury Park,
On Tuesday lunchtime, I know there'll be Golan Way,
A double carpet shock!
I ain't had a soft drink now in over a week.
LPR for breakfast, I can barely speak.
If that treble’s up,
You can tell ‘em to get two more in.
An’ pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a pink champagne before I go insane.
I want to get my kicks and I know how.
It's Chestival time now.
An' put tomorrow’s acca on too,
At a moment like this, I can't help but wonder,
What would Barry Jessup do?
Funny you should ask me that.
I’d say:
Make it a pink champagne before I go insane.
I want to get my kicks and I know how.
He knows how.
I know how.
It's Chestival time now.
It doesn't matter, it's Chestival time now.
It's always Chestival time in the Prince Of Wales, come to think of it.
Yeah, I heard that.
You been there haven't you?
Yessir.
I heard you sing there.
I've been to the Prince Of Wales a few times.
All right, that's good.
Stumbled all the way back.
OK. Just wanna make sure you can stay out of the Night Owl.
I ain’t promisin’.
All right. Well, it's Chestival time. Let's go somewhere.
I'm ready, crank it up.
Let's get out of here.
I'm gone.
It’s my round.
www.Chestival.com
“There is no such thing as the last race”
Freddie Williams
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